Introduction
I have seen a trend of woman on social media who show their post-divorce glow up and look fabulous. Without fail, there are always men in the comments criticizing this and making snarky comments. “Well, maybe if you looked like that, he wouldn’t have left,” or “Why do it now he is already gone?”. I can’t tell you how frustrating these comments are because they don’t get it! The post-divorce glow up happens for a reason. They do not understand why woman wait to reclaim their joy and power after a divorce when in reality they have been powerless throughout.
The truth is, divorce is one of the most difficult chapters anyone can walk through. It can feel like a storm that leaves you disoriented, broken, and unsure of who you are outside of the marriage. But here’s the truth: a divorce is not the end of your story—it’s the beginning of a new one. Many times the marriage has made you lose yourself and leaves you exhausted. There is no room for self-care. Who practices self-care in survival? There is no room for self-love? Who loves themselves when they are being broken by words and living in an environment that is hurting them? They are not taking care of themselves; they are protecting their children and just trying to get through the day, the hour, the minute. They are prisoners of a toxic environment, and a divorce gives them freedom. Now it’s time to reclaim your joy and power.
The truth about the glow up
Once we experience this freedom, we can breathe. We can smile. We can finally look at ourselves in the mirror, and the truth of what we see isn’t very pretty. We look and say “I will find my beauty.” You now recognize you deserve better, and you start giving yourself what you were neglected from. This is your chance to step into a post-divorce glow-up, not as revenge or to prove anyone wrong, but as a way of reclaiming your joy, your peace, and your power.
A glow-up isn’t just about the outside—it’s about healing from the inside out. It’s the shift that happens when you decide you deserve more than survival. You deserve to thrive. And while the journey will have its ups and downs, each step you take toward self-care, self-discovery, and self-love is a step toward the radiant life waiting for you.
Step 1: Healing First
Before you can glow, you need to heal. Divorce is a loss of a relationship, of a shared dream, and sometimes of the life you thought you would have. And like any loss, it requires grieving. Ignoring the pain only delays the healing process, but acknowledging it allows you to move forward with clarity.
Healing doesn’t look the same for everyone. For some, it’s journaling every morning to release heavy emotions. For others, it’s talking with a therapist, leaning into faith, or giving themselves permission to cry without shame. Rest is also part of the healing process—your mind and body need time to recover from the stress and emotional toll. Rest is also part of the healing process—your mind and body need time to recover from the stress and emotional toll. I share more about why rest matters in The Importance of Rest: Renew Your Mind and Spirit.
Most importantly, healing first ensures that your glow-up comes from a place of strength, not from trying to fill a void. When you allow yourself to process the hurt, you make room for peace, resilience, and hope. That’s the foundation of a true glow-up.
Step 2: Rediscovering Yourself
Divorce often leaves you asking, “Who am I now?” After years of pouring into a marriage, it’s common to lose touch with the parts of yourself that made you feel alive. The beauty of this season is that you get to rediscover who you are now, on your terms.
Start by reconnecting with your passions. Maybe it’s dancing, painting, traveling, or simply taking long walks in nature. Dust off the hobbies you set aside or try something completely new that excites you. This is also the perfect time to rebuild friendships, nurture supportive relationships, and surround yourself with people who bring positivity into your life.
Spiritual rediscovery is just as important. Spend time in prayer, meditation, or reading scripture to realign your heart and remind yourself of your worth. According to Psychology Today, faith practices such as prayer and meditation can provide powerful support during emotional healing.When you intentionally connect with God and yourself, you cultivate a deeper sense of peace and identity. I enjoy this devotional.
Rediscovering yourself isn’t about becoming someone brand new, it’s about returning to the woman you were always meant to be. The one who is strong, vibrant, and capable of writing beautiful new chapters.
Step 3: The Physical Glow-Up
Once the healing begins on the inside, it naturally flows to the outside. The physical glow-up after divorce isn’t about vanity—it’s about finally having the freedom and energy to care for yourself again. When you’ve spent years in survival mode, exhausted and overlooked, it’s no wonder your reflection in the mirror didn’t shine back at you. Now you get to rewrite that story.
Start with the basics: move your body, nourish it well, and rest without guilt. Exercise doesn’t have to mean hours at the gym; it could be walking in nature, dancing in your living room, or trying that yoga class you always wanted but never had time for If you need inspiration, check out Transform Your Life with Yoga or Uplifting My Mood with Dance and Music. Pair movement with healthy, nourishing food that fuels your body instead of depleting it. Small changes like drinking more water, prioritizing sleep, and setting aside time for skincare can make a huge difference.
And don’t underestimate the power of presentation. Updating your wardrobe, getting a fresh haircut, or trying a new style can be symbolic acts of reclaiming your identity. These aren’t just surface-level changes; they are tangible ways of telling yourself, “I matter. I am worth this care.”
The physical glow-up is really about alignment; the outside finally reflecting the renewed strength and beauty that’s been rebuilding on the inside. When you feel good in your skin, your confidence grows, and the glow is undeniable.
Step 4: The Financial & Independence Glow-Up
One of the most powerful parts of the post-divorce glow-up is regaining independence—especially financial independence. In many marriages, money can be a source of stress, control, or imbalance. Divorce can feel overwhelming at first, but it also opens the door to building a financial life that’s fully your own.
This glow-up isn’t about suddenly becoming wealthy; it’s about creating stability and confidence. Start small by getting organized: make a budget, track your expenses, and set financial goals that excite you. Maybe that’s paying down debt, building an emergency fund, or saving for something you’ve always wanted but put off. Each step you take toward financial freedom is a step toward peace of mind. Finances can feel overwhelming after divorce, but learning to manage them is part of your glow-up. I dive deeper into this topic in How Our Finances Impact Our Mental Health.
Independence also means learning to make decisions without second-guessing yourself. From managing household responsibilities to planning for your future, you are now in the driver’s seat. While that can feel scary at first, it’s also incredibly empowering. You’re proving to yourself daily that you are capable of not only surviving but thriving on your own.
The financial glow-up is more than numbers on a spreadsheet. It’s the confidence that comes from knowing you can provide for yourself, build the future you want, and never again have to shrink to fit someone else’s definition of security. That kind of independence shines brighter than any diamond.
Step 5: Reclaim your Joy and Power
The final piece of the glow-up is where everything comes together, reclaiming your joy and power through confidence. After the storm of divorce, you’ve done the hard work: you’ve healed, rediscovered yourself, cared for your body, and rebuilt your independence. Now comes the part where you step fully into the life you deserve.
Confidence after divorce doesn’t mean pretending you have it all figured out, it means knowing that you can handle whatever comes your way. It’s walking into a room with your head held high, not because of how others see you, but because of how you see yourself. Joy comes in the simple things: laughing freely, waking up without heaviness, and creating a life that reflects your values and dreams.
For some, this chapter includes dating again. And that’s okay, finding love after divorce can be a beautiful part of someone’s glow-up. But for others (like me), dating isn’t the goal right now, and that’s okay too. A glow-up isn’t defined by who’s holding your hand; it’s about who you become when you finally hold space for yourself.
The true glow-up is living unapologetically in your own light. Whether you’re building new friendships, pursuing passions, traveling, or simply enjoying your peace, this is your season to thrive.
Conclusion: Thriving Beyond Survival
The post-divorce glow-up isn’t about proving your worth to anyone else; it’s about rediscovering your own. Divorce may mark the end of a chapter, but it also opens the door to a new life filled with healing, independence, and joy. It’s the chance to reclaim what was lost, nurture what was neglected, and step boldly into the woman you were always meant to be.
Your glow-up doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. For some, it’s hitting the gym and revamping their style. For others, it’s creating financial stability, deepening faith, or simply learning how to rest without guilt. The beauty of this journey is that it’s yours alone.
So let the critics talk if they must; they will never understand the strength it takes to rebuild from the ashes. You know the truth: your glow-up isn’t about revenge. It’s about freedom, peace, and stepping into a life where you are no longer surviving, but thriving.
This is your glow-up, and it’s only the beginning.
