I’ve been angry, deeply, heartbreakingly angry.
Not the kind that explodes in the moment, but the kind that simmers under the surface, pushing you to keep going when you want to give up. It’s a tangled knot of disappointment, despair, discouragement, and injustice, all converging and showing up as anger.
It’s the kind of anger that comes when people you trusted betray you. When those you showed compassion to take your kindness and use it against you. When your vulnerability becomes someone else’s weapon.
That kind of anger.
The kind that makes you wish you’d never met them, or they never found their way into your life, the kind that makes you regret the day your paths crossed.
But through all of that… the betrayal, the heartache, the weight of carrying what wasn’t yours,
I’ve learned something that changed my life:
Your best revenge is your success.
What Anger Is Trying to Tell You
Anger Isn’t Evil—It’s an Alarm
Many people are taught that anger is wrong or even sinful. But that’s not true. Anger isn’t the sin, what we do with it is. Reacting in rage, wishing someone harm, or letting resentment rule our minds, that’s where we lose ourselves.
But anger itself is not the enemy. Anger is a signal. It alerts us of a boundary being crossed, like a fire warning us something is deeply wrong.
Do you feel angry when you see child abuse, animal cruelty, or injustice?
That emotion is valid. It’s the part of you that knows what’s right and what isn’t.
Anger draws the line.
It helps us speak up. It shows us what matters. It’s a catalyst for protection, change, and transformation, when used well.
If something enrages you, the question becomes: what will you do with that fire?
Suppressing Anger Makes It Worse
I’ve held onto anger for years. I don’t like confrontation, and I’ve often tried to keep the peace, so I stayed quiet. Let things slide or shrugged it off until I couldn’t anymore.
Eventually, that quiet resentment turned volcanic. I’d explode and though it felt good at the moment it comes the regret, the shame, the guilt. Noticing how my self-control diminshed in that moment.
That’s the danger of emotional suppression; it doesn’t make the anger disappear. It buries it until it erupts in a way that causes more damage than healing.
Healthy release matters.
We need ways to process anger without losing ourselves in it.
Ways to feel powerful without becoming destructive.
Feeling anger make you human, it’s one of the many emotions we must learn how to manage.
Anger Often Masks Deeper Wounds
The rage you feel? It’s usually covering something tender.
- Betrayal by someone you loved.
- Shame for trusting the wrong person.
- Grief over what was lost, stolen, or destroyed.
Anger is often the bodyguard standing in front of our most vulnerable emotions and if we want to heal, we have to look behind the fire. We must look very deep within us to find where it was hiding.
“Anger is just sadness that had the audacity to stand up.”
Allow yourself To Feel It Without Guilt or Judgment
When you feel anger, don’t shut it down or feel guilty for it.
Sometimes, it’s the only coping mechanism you’ve had.
It may not be perfect, but it’s a start.
Instead of stuffing it down, give yourself permission to ask:
“What’s under this anger?”
Are you feeling betrayed? Ashamed? Disappointed?
One thing to be mindful of: Don’t let anger drive the car.
We’ve all heard people say things like, “That’s just how I am, I can’t help it.” But losing control doesn’t make you powerful, it shows just how much control someone else still has over your emotions. That’s not where your strength lives.
On a personal note I do not like anyone having the power to make me react in a negative way. I like being in control even of my emotions.
Write It Down, Get It Out of Your Head
Sometimes when I’m angry, I can’t write in the moment, I call a trusted friend to vent. And that’s okay. My friends are their to listen and thankfully do so without judgement.
But when you’re ready, get it out of your head and onto paper.
Open your journal and start with:
“I am angry because…”
Let it all out raw, unfiltered, unedited.
You don’t need to be graceful, you just need to be honest.
That release is powerful. It clears mental space and helps you process what really happened and how you want to move forward.
Channel the Energy with Micro-Goals
Anger builds up a lot of energy in your body, use it.
Been avoiding exercise? Feeling unmotivated lately?
I guarantee you have motivation now.
Take a power walk.
Hit a punching bag.
Lift heavy weights.
Clean that space that’s been driving you crazy.
Think of anger as fuel. Channel it into something productive that gives you your power back, not something that leaves you with regret.
I will admit some of my best meals were cooked when I was angry. I shaked those spices into the dishes with little restrain.
My house gets the best cleaning when I am angry and would’t you know a clean house always makes me feel better.
Use It as Fuel, Not a Weapon
When your mind is spinning with anger, you have a choice:
Let it spin in circles, or let it push you forward.
There are people who intend to hurt you and hope to see you fail. This is what I am referring to when I speak about people who make you angry. Instead of giving them the energy of being angry, think about what you can do to succeed in spite of their actions.
Start thinking about the dreams you’ve put off.
What have you been too exhausted, scared, or distracted to start?
Now’s the time, use that fire to build something, not burn something down.
Because at the end of the day, this is your comeback story.
And success?
That’s your sharpest weapon and your softest healing.
Real Talk, When I Chose Success Over Spite
I once spoke with a patient who was in a very dark place in his life. He was consumed with anger and resentment, replaying the pain others had caused him and talking about ways to get even.
Without thinking, I said something that surprised even me:
“Your best revenge is your success.”
It came out unfiltered, but I meant every word.
Those who tried to hurt you, belittle you, or make you feel small will never expect to see you rise. And when you do, it rattles them far more than anything you could ever say or do.
So let that be your fuel.
Yes, you should build your life for you not for anyone else. But if using the pain others caused you becomes the spark that launches your next chapter? That’s not petty, that’s power, that’s turning pain into purpose.
Right now, I find myself in a season where that same lesson applies.
There are people in my life actively trying to shake the ground beneath me.
And because of that, I’ve made a decision:
I will create income streams, projects, and purpose that no one can control, interrupt, or take from me.
I don’t need anyone’s permission.
And I definitely don’t need to stoop to their level.
I’ve got bigger things to focus on: my goals, my healing, and my vision for the life I deserve.
Affirmation:
“I don’t need to ruin you. I’m too busy rising.”
When you’re in your darkest moments, let that be your light.
When you feel powerless, let that be your spark.
Because you don’t need to fight every battle.
You just need to win the one that leads you forward.
Conclusion: Let the Fire Move You Forward
Anger doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you broken.
It makes you human. It’s what you do with that fire that defines your next chapter.
You can let anger consume you, or you can let it refine you.
You can spiral in bitterness, or you can build something unshakable.
Because the truth is, success isn’t just money or achievements, it’s peace, freedom, and the ability to live a life that no one can sabotage.
If you’re angry, let that be your starting point, not your ending.
Let it fuel your workouts.
Let it pour into your blog, your business, your healing.
Let it push you into that next level version of yourself, the one that doesn’t settle, doesn’t shrink, and doesn’t need to prove anything anymore.
Remember:
Your best revenge is your success.
Not because they need to see it, but because you need to live it!
Ready to Turn Your Fire Into Focus?
- Shop empowering merch like journals, mugs, and apparel with the quote “Your Best Revenge Is Your Success”, coming soon!
- Join my email list to get updates on new resources, guided healing tools, and personal reflections that speak to the fight and the freedom.
Your healing is powerful. Your story is not over.
Keep rising, you’re just getting started.
For more reading:
https://justthrivinginlife.com/5-steps-to-start-your-new-journey-after-life-falls-apart/
Article: The Power of Positive Emotions
“Channeling anger toward positive action involves shifting emotional energy.
