Challenging times
This past week has been emotionally overwhelming. Our nation has faced multiple acts of violence, and everywhere we turn, the news, social media, and conversations with friends, there’s noise. Some voices are amplified, while others are ignored. Certain issues are highlighted while others are brushed aside. In the faith community, this has left many confused, divided, and even questioning their beliefs. So many people left examining their hearts.
In the middle of it all, I noticed how quickly people rushed to respond. Posts, comments, heated debates, everyone seemed to be talking, but very few seemed to be listening. And in the process, many lost their peace. The healthiest conversations come when we examine our hearts in silence; then speak.
Why Silence Matters
Psychologists have long recognized the benefits of silence and intentional pausing. Research on mindfulness practices shows that moments of quiet reflection can lower cortisol levels, decrease blood pressure, and improve emotional regulation. A study published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology found that even brief periods of silence can activate the brain’s default mode network, the part of the brain linked to self-awareness and processing emotions. In other words, when we choose silence, we’re not avoiding the problem—we’re giving our brain the space it needs to sort through complex emotions and restore inner balance. For more on managing stress through mindfulness, see my post on How to Calm Your Mind and Take Back Control and Harvard Health article on mindfulness and emotional health.
. Taking a step back allows us to:
- Process our emotions instead of reacting from anger or fear.
- Regain balance when the world feels chaotic.
- Listen with intention rather than jumping to defend or attack.
- Protect our peace in a time when it’s so easily disrupted.
Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is pause.
My Experience With Choosing Silence
This week, I’ll admit, I wanted to speak out. I had strong feelings about the way people were responding about which issues were being given attention and which were being ignored. Some of the posts I saw from friends hurt me and made me want to react immediately.
Instead, I stayed silent. I took time to process. When I was ready, I didn’t unfriend or argue. I reached out with genuine questions, not to change anyone’s mind, but to understand why we saw things so differently.
And something beautiful happened: the conversation was respectful. I did not agree with her perspective but I did gain information that allowed me to see why she felt the way she did. She was also understanding of mine, although she also stood firm in her opinion. That moment of connection would not have been possible if I had spoken too soon, without reflection. What did I gain? Peace. I addressed the situation before it caused bitterness and anger in me.
The Cost of Reacting Too Quickly
Research also shows that reacting too quickly can actually hijack our ability to think clearly. Neuroscience explains this through the amygdala hijack—when the emotional center of the brain takes over, it triggers impulsive reactions like anger or fear before the rational part of the brain (the prefrontal cortex) has time to weigh in. That’s why heated arguments often lead to regret later. Studies in emotional intelligence suggest that people who take even a few moments to pause before responding have healthier relationships and better conflict resolution outcomes. By slowing down, we protect ourselves from words that can’t be taken back and preserve the possibility for meaningful dialogue instead of damage. For more strategies on building emotional balance see Psychology Today on emotional regulation.
When we rush to speak, we risk:
- Saying things we don’t truly mean.
- Creating division instead of understanding.
- Losing credibility because our words come from raw emotion, not clarity.
- Feeding the cycle of noise instead of bringing peace.
How to Practice the Power of Silence
Practicing silence doesn’t mean shutting down or avoiding hard conversations. It means creating space to respond with clarity rather than impulse. One way to do this is by pausing before you post or reply—asking yourself whether your words will add light or just more noise. Taking time to sit with your feelings through journaling, prayer, or even a short walk allows emotions to settle and gives you perspective. When you do choose to engage, approach the conversation with curiosity rather than judgment, seeking to understand instead of to win. And finally, remember that not every opinion requires your response. Protecting your peace may mean staying quiet, scrolling past, or setting boundaries with people who drain you. Over time, silence becomes less about withholding and more about practicing wisdom.
- Pause Before You Post: Ask yourself if your words add light or just more noise.
- Sit With Your Feelings: Journal, pray, or take a walk to process emotions before reacting.
- Seek to Understand: When you do engage, ask questions with genuine curiosity instead of judgment.
- Protect Your Peace: Not every opinion needs your response. Silence can be the boundary that keeps you whole.
Silence as Strength
In a world that demands instant reactions, choosing silence can feel countercultural but it is often the wisest choice. Silence gives us room to process, to breathe, and to anchor ourselves before stepping back into the noise. It allows us to listen deeply, engage with empathy, and protect our peace in the midst of chaos. Remaining quiet doesn’t mean you’re indifferent; it means you’re intentional. Sometimes the most powerful response is not to rush into the argument, but to pause long enough to bring clarity and compassion into it. May we all learn to embrace the strength of silence so that when we do choose to speak, our words carry the weight of wisdom, not the residue of haste. For more information on how to renew your mind read my blog on this topic.
